Service dog with me in ICU

Who is comforting who?

Hi folks,

It’s been 12 days now since I was discharged from Swedish Hospital (and a mere 19 since I had a little something like major spinal surgery and additional hardware installed in my body), and I’m still trying to find my bearings, settle on a baseline and process all that’s “happened” over this past month.

What I know with absolute certainty, however, is an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all the love, support, good vibes and prayers you’ve shared with my family, friends, surgeons, nurses, Rhythm and me since I first announced my intentions to go through with this serious “roll of the dice” many months ago.

I’m also aware this didn’t happen in a vacuum; my life has been infused with love that’s allowed me to live fearlessly, take risks, and navigate challenging circumstances with confidence and joy (albeit a little clumsy and painful at times) because of the ever ubiquitous safety net you’ve helped stretch beneath me.

With all that being said, there is still so much more to unpack and share here on fasterbarnacle — the general as well as the very specific. Most of it will probably be relatable to all, but from time to time I will go into the weeds to share some of the more nuanced minutia surrounding this particular surgery for those living with syringomyelia.

Gratitude was the no-brainer way to begin, as I’m so full of it. Any way I can express it feels just plain awesome and flows freely (unlike other areas at the moment #opiateconstipation #qaudsurgerysideeffects #puffybelly #scilife).

I get that beginning the story where I am — despite my claim to be “still processing” could also come across as burying the lead a little, but I assure you this has been a dizzying experience from jump.

So for those who haven’t heard, let me bring you up to speed. After a little hiccup that set me back a week, I had a successful shunt surgery and the untethering was ultimately canceled (more on all of that later). Day by day I feel improvement of some kind. But I’m not going to lie, some days are much heavier and gnarlier than others.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for having my back (too obvious?) this time and always. I can’t imagine going through such a challenging experience without you!

Big love,
Tony

Friends in a hospital

Just a few of the many who surrounded me daily

 

8 comments on “Burying the lead with Gratitude

  • Hello Bud…I’m reveling in your success at getting a note out to everyone so soon. The stoic thing isn’t necessary…you Rock! I know what a challenge this has been, and I’m so happy you have everyone watching over you, and giving you their love and support…on my note, insurance denied my flow up MRI. We’re left scratching our heads. Numbness in the right arm and hand alone should substantiate the need…I fear we’re cresting a big one, where all the before givens are being juggled. I’ll follow up with you when I know what’s next. Thanks for being my light…sending you buckets of love….heal babe…xoxo

    • @Karen, funny you should mention the stoic thing because as I was being taken to the ER a couple of weeks ago the paramedic commented that I was a stoic dude. He was from Australia. Go figure. Anyway, I definitely try not to be and I think that has been the joy of writing about this personal journey—being honest and sharing the experience warts and all –- it forces me away from stoicism. That said, I’m sorry to hear about the denial. As you may or may not recall, that happened to me earlier on as well. I do hope you get that worked out. It’s an essential tool! Thanks for sharing and thank you for being a support over the years!

  • Dear Tony. I’m not a Facebook fan. The definition of “friend” has changed in ways I don’t like. But one of the good things is to keep up with you. I think the last time we saw each other was over 20 years ago. None the less, I see you as my brother, a positive part of my high school years, and wish you well. Thoughts of wholeness and love to you. I hope to see you again sometime!
    XO, Laurie

    • @Laurie, yeah, you’re probably right… 20 years at least. Thank you so much for the kind words, The love and support. Means the world. Hope to see you someday soon too! Big love.

  • T O N Y, I’ve read this once already and I came back to see if anything was updated and read the kind notes you’re receiving. Then, excitement, there you are messaging back your friends and that was joyful to see and know the nature of your heart is still the same, such a strong wiseman I’ve been Calling Uncle . All Big love, JR

    (Few music videos to check)
    http://youtu.be/re6OaUEGEh4

    http://youtu.be/P34bAVioEH8

    http://youtu.be/xMm3GF1OIuc

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